I guess I have some explaining to do...

Hey, I see that you guys were alarmed from finding out what happened to my DA page and you all have a bone to pick with me about what happened to Numa, so allow me to explain what's going on. You see it all started with me trying to pretty much get even with Crazy Koopa by trying my luck on a certain web site to see if they can attack him. As it turns out, they're not interested in doing that because I acted too much like a "n00b" to them; thus, they decided to make me their target for harassment instead. Afterwards, I decided to try to fit in with them first and worry about Crazy when I'm more respected on the site.

When I tried to fit in by talking more like them and such, they still harassed me because not only was I trying too hard, but I spending more time shouting petty rants instead of actually contributing to the site. It was around that time that I did something that would mess up Numa big time.

Anyway, Anyumu Hunter came to me one day asking me why we're friends with Numa, which made me think about the same thing. Sure, Numa is a swell guy overall, but the way he acts most of the time is somewhat hard to believe. Since I thought that showing him to these site members would affect my chances on whether or not they'll take down Crazy for me, I decided to not only show Numa's flaws to them, but think about not being Numa's friend anymore.  At first, they were fascinated by Numa in their own twisted way, but when they asked why I was even friends with the guy in the first place, I told them I would defriend him after he does something else that would make him look laughable. Suddenly, they pressured me into doing it right away, so I decided to tell Numa that I wouldn't be his friend anymore.

Now, before you decide to bash me and call me a jerk about doing such a thing, hear me out on what I actually intended to happen. I sent a PM to Numa telling him about the flaws he had and that he needed to mature himself before we can be friends again. I didn't tell him what was going on with him on the other web site and the message was very civil for the most part, so I was hoping he wouldn't take it the wrong way. All he needed to do was comprehend the point of the message (which was to learn to behave in a more reasonable, selfless manner), understand what he needs to do before I can become his friend again, and try to become a better person to everyone else on DA; thus, those members on that other web site would praise me enough to finally listen to what I had to say about Crazy.  Otherwise, if he decides to take my PM the wrong way and write a journal to stir up his friends and fans into attacking me senselessly, that's when those members from that web site will try to convince Numa about the true nature of my "hateful" action (even if they would try to explain it with their own twisted methods). Unfortunately, though,  something unexpected happened that flushed my original intentions down the toilet and had everything take a dramatic turn for the worst.

Now, I already told you that I was egged into committing such an unpleasant action against Numa, but the way I made it sound like to them was that I was spineless and was hesitating the inevitable (they actually said those things in the worst way possible, but I'm going to spare your eyes from having to see anything vulgar). Even though I told them I was going to do it anyway, they still didn't take me seriously and decided to do me  "favor…" And when I say that, what I actually meant was that they were very disgusted by the fact that I appeared to be too spineless to actually ditch Numa, so they thought it was a good idea to send one of their members to tell Numa that I'm not going to be his friend anymore… By linking what I said on that other web site because they apparently think that it's the most effective way to do it!

I was shocked to find out how they decided to "help" me! I only intended for Numa to read the PM, which I sent prior to this member's announcement to Numa, but what just happened he wasn't even supposed to happen in the first place! Besides, if I actually wanted to have everyone know what I was doing to Numa on that site, I would have also included that tidbit of information in the PM and I wouldn't have deactivated my account in the first place. As for the reason why I did that in the first place, it had nothing to do with the fact about what you guys will do to me. Instead, I was more concerned about what the admins would do to me. You see, members from that web site aren't exactly welcome on DA and the fact that I caused all this drama to happen doesn't seem to help my case. Since I didn't want to stick around to see if this is worth a ban, I decided to do myself a favor and deactivate my account. Then I would spend the rest of my web life on Storm Artists feeling miserable about what I did.

You might be wondering at this point why I decided to return to DA even after what I did. Well, allow me to explain. When I decided to check on things on DA, I was alarmed that not only everyone was concerned about my mysterious  disappearance, but also the news that reached Numa's ears unsettled him more than I actually anticipated.  I understand that what I did to him would not make Numa at all happy with me, but it's nothing unsettling enough to deactivate your own account over! Since I realized what exactly happened here and what needs to be done (not to mention that some friends of mine gave me a pep talk to encourage me to return), I decided to reactivate my account and explain what's going on.

By the way, you might also be wondering what ever happened to me on that other web site that you're making a fuss about. Well, if you really must know, even though I managed to successfully "introduce" those guys to Numa and made him act in a way they would be pleased with, they still decided to bash me to death regardless because they saw through this antic as an attempt for me to get closer to my goal for them to eliminate Crazy Koopa. Based on what I saw when I left that web site, I was going to be more likely to have an article written about me instead of Numa, so he doesn't need to worry about that anymore. Since what I did there was not the best thing to do, I'm not only going to stay away from that place for now on, but (most importantly) I'm also going to let go of this grudge I have against Crazy Koopa. It's not doing any favors to my mental stability and it has caused me to emotionally harm someone who truly cares about me just because I wanted revenge. Besides, I'm twenty years old and still being upset about something that happened about four or five years ago isn't the best thing to do. Sure, it means that he wins by default and he'll keep acting like a soulless monster to everyone he meets, but I seem to be reaping more defeats than victories in this battle, so it's time to give it a rest.

Anyway, now it's time to get to the point of this journal. Numa, I am very sorry about what I did to you. What I did to you was a poor choice in judgment, which I was convinced it was an OK thing to do when I saw the comments discussing your flaws in this journal.

ginzo25.deviantart.com/journal…

I didn't intend for this action to this far, which means you have to return to DA! While the reason has nothing to do with me, you have to understand that all your friends miss you and would kill to have you return! While you must reactivate both of your accounts, I also have to tell you that it's OK if you don't forgive me after what I've done. I'll understand if you don't wish to be around me anymore.

As for the rest of you who are ticked off with me because of what happened to Numa, I gravely insist that you bury that hatchet. While I do accept that what I did to Numa wasn't very nice, it doesn't give you the right to take it out on me! I have to let you know that even though I hurt Numa's feelings, I actually did nothing wrong to you guys. You're just upset because Numa decided to leave DA for an unknown amount of time and trying to take me down because of it would only give you unwanted attention to yourselves. Besides, what I did to Numa is his beef only, so there's no need for you guys to refuse to like me because Numa said so. What just happened is a onetime thing, so I assure you that it won't happen again.

So, can we have this entire situation become water under the bridge and get back to our normal DA lives?